Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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