your thong is hanging out like whoa
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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