hotel room ftw
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
