Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
