6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
