OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
