Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
