I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
