Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
