I think I can smell my own vagina right now
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
