its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Come share oat with me in your robe
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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