Cold hands, warm shart.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
