Ambien. No doubt about it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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