Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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