I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
