You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
