idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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