well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Operation Purity has been aborted
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
