My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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