Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
