No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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