did you get engaged???
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
