you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
