is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
