remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
