i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We have started to decorate penises.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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