Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
