Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
