quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
