New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i think i just lost a toe
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