Me too!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize