So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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