party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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