I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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