Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
