Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
