Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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