oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
