Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she pinky promised me she was 18
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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