No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Is Oprah even human
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
