do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I can feel your judgement through the phone
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
