Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
