when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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