There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
