Me too!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
