Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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