i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
