Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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