I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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