Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
