i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
