Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
