his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
