I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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