Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
